With the good old St. Patrick's Day holiday here upon us again it's time for us to realize what it's all about. And well, it's about a lot of stuff. Some funny, some sad, but all mostly filled with drunken losers.
Now we all have become accustomed with the fact that this holiday is a drinking holiday and that kids might not think that however and they might just think it's a time when everything becomes green. And maybe they're true. Because if you are a very, very good kid that the drunk leprechaun will come visit your house and leave you gifts.
The gift?
Green puke in your front lawn.
While this holiday is filled with people getting drunk, young and old and dumb and stupid it's all the same. Because they're getting drunk. They call this night, day and well this holiday a amateur holiday. Which means all these non-professional drunks come out to play.
Wait, there's a professional drinking league? Can I join? I mean, I wouldn't mind making money for drinking. I enjoy making money... I mean.....
The basic overall thinking is that let's say Uncle Joe goes out every night and every day and drinks. But now Aunt Susie and her kids are going to drink for the first time or for the first time since say New Year's Eve. And that's what cause it amateur night or day or whatever.
I say day because for some reason St. Patrick's Day has become a holiday in which you drink early in the morning and while doing so you have Kegs and Eggs. Now what this has to do with the basis of the entire purpose of the holiday I don't know.
They say Christmas has lost all of it's meaning. That Christmas shouldn't be a day based on gifts and giving, especially gifts delivered by a big fat guy in a red suit. But then again, it's about Jesus Christ's birthday. And wouldn't you want some big jolly guy delivering you gifts? I sure would.
Hasn't St. Patrick's Day lost all of it's meaning? What is the meaning of this day any ways?
Basically it's based on this guy named Patrick. Obviously. And it's a day recognizing how he was kidnapped and how he become a drunk Irishmen... wait, wait no. None of that. Well, some. He got kidnapped and his kidnappers were Irishmen and they took him there and then years later after escaping... he went back and turned the entire country into Catholics.
And there you have the meaning of St. Patrick's Day.
Confusing? Yes.
Maybe that's why it became a drinking holiday. Or maybe because it was turned into a feast day by the Catholics and it's a day near the end of the lenten holiday in which you can break your lent restrictions.
So go and drink!
Wait.. hold that thought. What is with these holiday traditions. Okay, drinking. I get that. People like to drink. It's like a way of free themselves from the daily grind. Not Hachland's Daily Grind hopefully. But the daily grind of it all.
But what's with Kegs and Eggs? Why eggs? Why morning drinking? What about corned beef? Why eggs and corn? What's that deal? I'm okay with beef and kegs. Why not Kegs and Beef? Or Beef and Kegs? I think McDonald's and Burger King can get on that.
Yes, I'd like a Big Mac and a keg.
But corned beef? Come on, what's the deal? Well, it's not really entirely corning the beef. And not to get corny, the whole idea for eating this meat on St. Patty's Day was to be a means of saving money. Yes, saving money. Not a long bred tradition. But one handed over from the distant cousin Saul O' Rosenbaum.
These crazy events in which will occur are all better served with some alcohol and well, a green tint. Why green? I don't know, from all I've learned from the meanings of green and this holiday are simple. Blue used to be the color but for some reason it turned blue.
Maybe it's because of if you add blue and let's say yellow. Yellow because that's the color of piss, and who doesn't like to piss on traditions. And well, bang out comes the color green.
So there you go we made a color.
What other traditions for this most drunken day should I talk about?
How about the shamrock?
Ken Shamrock? Nope. The Irish Shamrock. You know the guy who wasn't involved with WWE and the UFC.
Now this shamrock we speak of is basically a plant. It's a dumb stupid plant that for some reason this small country picked to symbolize their traditionalism and well, it's actually a show of pride to these people.
Yes, that's where we get the PRIDE OF IRELAND. Or something like that.
So can you name another group of people that uses a plant to symbolize them?
Yes, weed heads!!
And while they don't have a home country or rather even a region. I mean you have some hippies and what not. But that's something different. They come in all shapes and sizes and of course colors.
But weed heads and the Irish. They basically have so much in common. So many dumb traditions. They're both into building things.
Weed heads build bongs.
The Irish build failed families.
Basically they're both like a Stan Lee comic hero. Because they're both so similar yet with slight differences. Like the differences between Thor and The Hulk. Do you know the differences? I don't either.
In the end of it all, you are going to go out there and get drunk and not think of the meaning of this holiday. So basically don't cry and complain when people ruin your day when your out getting drunk and pissing on tradition and turning a blue holiday into a green one.
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