Originally Seen -- April 7th, 2003

Well, where to start.... There has been alot of things going on in Iraq. Reports of "Chemical Ali" is dead was only part of big news, and as for this man to be dead is just great. In two instances alone he chemically killed 250,000 people, and people against there are still people against the war. Okay, yeah.

While Iraqi's Information Minister was saying that American and British forces were not in Baghdad and were actually retreating, while this was happening US troops were also being interviewed and saying they were there. And were actually not to far from behind this Information master! Minutes later US troops blew up a statue of Saddam on a horse.

Other news... American soldiers who reached the gold-and-blue-domed New Presidential Palace used the toilets, rifled through documents in the bombed-out compound, and helped themselves to ashtrays, pillows, gold-painted Arab glassware and other souvenirs.. Pictures of this kind of remind me of the evil witch in Return To Oz, anyone ever see that movie? That's one scary movie.

And this just in! One Air Force B-1 bomber was called in for the strike in a Baghdad suburb, defense officials told Hachland News. The heavy bomber dropped 4 2000-pound "bunker-buster" bombs. Sources said after the hit there was huge hole where the building had been and three adjoining houses were reduced to a heap of concrete, mangled iron rods and furniture. In this house... Saddam Hussein, his sons and other senior Iraqi officials. The officials told Hachland News, "There's a strong chance we got Saddam and probably both sons."

This has been Hach reporting on the war. But there yet is still more... Anti-War Protesters or as I call them Low Life Scum of the Earth or well, just Heartless.

There are actually some protesters protesting the Yellow Ribbons put up in Support of Our Troops. Now come on. What the fucking hell has gone wrong? I live in a nation of free speech, I live in a nation where are troops fought off the British, yes, for those of you who are too dumb to know a fucking history lesson, the same fucking people we are teaming with to free the Iraqi's from the worse dictator since Hitler, that evil Saddam. Now how in the God damn hell could you even think of possibly protesting the entire Yellow Ribbons in Support of Our Troops? It's like your telling us, yeah, we don't want war, but we also don't want to support people. What the fuck!? No, wait a minute, so someone please inform me if I've missed something, but what these fucking protestors are saying is - we don't support people. What the flying fuck? Now, I know I've told myself not to blow up or even go as close as cursing, but come on. Are you the same morons, or as the guy in the poster says morons that enjoyed Bill Clinton's tenure as President? Now, I'm not going to say he wasn't a great president, well, that's if you don't look at his sexual scandal, his fuck up in Bosnia. Or everything else he ever fucking did! Well, your going to have to define your fucking stance more clearly, because I still don't understand what the fuck you are talking about.

In other Heartless News, over in Oakland, California, Police opened fire with non-lethal projectiles at an anti-war protest at the Port of Oakland on Monday, injuring at least a dozen demonstrators. Most of the 500 demonstrators were dispersed peacefully, but police shot the projectiles at two gates when protesters refused to move and began to them threw rocks and bolts. Police spokeswoman Danielle Ashford said officers fired bean-bag rounds and wooden dowels. They also used "sting balls," which send out a spray of BB-sized rubber pellets and a cloud of tear gas and feel like a bee sting when they hit someone. So what is my stance on this? Um, I guess going with the above, I'd have to say.... Well, what the fuck? Okay, so you're protesting against violence, yet you resort to violence. Oh, but wait, there is more to this story... About 200 of the port demonstrators later marched to the federal building in Oakland, blocking a street and chanting: "Out of the office and into the streets! U.S. out of the Middle East!" They were joined by Oakland City Council members Jane Bruner and Jean Quan. Okay, okay. Let me try and fucking regroup here. First of all, let me attack the City Council members, and only one word can sum this up and that word is TREASON! Ever hear of it? And as for the rest of the Heartless scum. Again, the only word that comes up is TREASON. Okay, you heard me say it not once, but twice. So if you are one of these Heartless Scum, let me be nice, and I'll spit out a definition for you.

Word: trea·son
Pronunciation: 'trE-z&n
Function: noun
1 : the betrayal of a trust
2 : the offense of attempting by overt acts to overthrow the government of the state to which the offender owes allegiance or to kill or personally injure the sovereign or the sovereign's family

Okay, okay. Now, that I've given you the word TREASON. Again, there I go saying it. We'll let me explain what this makes you, and yes, I'll also define it just for you, you fucking HEARTLESS SCUM!! This new word is traitor

Word: trai·tor
Pronunciation: 'trA-t&r
Function: noun
1 : one who betrays anothers trust or is false to an obligation or duty
2 : one who commits treason

Wow, now that I have defined both words for you, gave you the correct pronunciation. Hell, I gave you two different definitions for each word. Now, what is the function for this? Is it a verb, no! It's a fucking NOUN! Now, do I need to go through what a noun is? I probably do, so here it goes... A Noun is... Ah fuck! It's a person, it's a place, it's a fucking thing. And well, seeing you Heartless Scum are not a person, not a place, you must be a fucking thing. You don't have a heart, thus making you not a person or Heartless Scum. You don't care where the fuck you protest, thus making you Low Lifes or Hobos, hey, let's play with this one HIPPYS! Thus leaving the only thing left, just a fucking thing. Now let me try and get an understanding of you. Do you like Reality Television? Would you rather see Anna Nicole the president? Would that make you happy?

Okay, I'm feeling pretty damn good about this rant. I think I'll just continue...

Now, let me explain what these pictures show. These pictures show these Heartless Scum participating in what they call a "DIE IN" Yes, let me say it one more time if you thought I was kidding, this is called a "DIE IN". Now, no it's not like a drive-thru, but more like a Drive-In, except these low life's, get off of their couch and walk to the streets and then lay down. They lay down in the middle of some of the busiest highways and roads out there. They're doing it in Washington, D.C., they're doing it in New York City, also in San Francisco and in Pittsburgh.

Okay, okay. Now before I get into this, what do others say. New York Police Commissioner Ray Kelly told the Associated Press in a recent interview, "This is more than protest, more than free speech. We're talking about violating the law." Ah, violating the law. Hmmm.. should we go back to TREASON? Or well, at least disturbing the peace.

Let's hear from the Heartless Scum known as Johannah Westmacott, "Nothing else gets attention. It's not news when people voice their opinions." Yeah, it isn't news, for to become violent. That's just TREASON!

Now, let's hear from an Average Joe trying to get to work, Project engineer Craig Voellmicke, "I think it's more annoying. I think people know the message already. Most people were just standing with annoyed looks on their faces. I didn't hear any words of support." Yes, Mr. Voellmicke, you are quite true, we got the fucking message, and I really don't hear any words of support towards the protesters or from the protesters to fellow Americans. Americans, are yes, maybe just members of a nation, but America is also a family, from every color and every race. If you are in America, love it, or leave it!

Now, I know, I may be wrong so let's hear from Scott Lynch, communications director for Peace Action, "In our view, there's already an illegal and immoral war going on. The point of view of people obstructing traffic … is that it's not OK and you shouldn't just be a happy little worker bee and a consumer going about your business while your government is going about killing hundreds or thousands of people in another country. ... There is a point to be made where you don't want to alienate your allies. There are situations as to where civil disobedience is called for." Ah, I understand your point... Okay, I was lying! Just like I said these Heartless Scum are really heartless and of course scum. This Lynch character working for Peace Action, called the workers of America just well simply "little worker bee." Hahaha... Yeah, you're not Heartless Scum, NOT!

This guy, I'll again try and be nice, Mr. Lynch said "There are situations as to where civil disobedience is called for." Oh, okay, great! Let me remind you people of a group using this same theory. Okay, have you ever heard of the KKK? Three K's. Hmm.. Oh, the Ku Klux Klan. Now, I shouldn't have to go over this one. They're a group of people set out to make the world full of only white's. Yeah, basically the same whole theory of a man named Hitler had. Basically, they kill people, they burn crosses, they do tons of things. So where does the connection between the two lie? Oh, I love it when you ask questions. Okay, okay, here we go again, continuing our little lesson, I'm going to throw some history, and well, facts, more facts into this. The Ku Klux Klan works in cells. WHOA! Wait a minute, cells? Isn't that what terrorist do? Oh, yes, yes they do. Now I've lost you haven't I? Well, I'm sorry. Three different groups into one. Ah, man, but just remember this one word - TREASON! Hahaha, okay, so Terrorist work in cells. Okay, the Ku Klux Klan works in cells. And oh, wouldn't you know, the protestors, or again the best name fitting so far Heartless Scum, but I suppose Heartless Scum can be all thrown into this one category, this one name shall you say.

But okay, so they all work in cells. So what? Ah, we're reminded that the Heartless Scum, according to the communications director for Peace Action, Mr. Scott Lynch, has stated "There are situations as to where civil disobedience is called for." Ah, interesting, now keeping this same theme let's say for instance we're saying civil disobedience is violence. Okay, so again, against violence for violence. They obviously wipe each other clean right? Is that their feeling? But so let me think here. Okay, violent cells. Groups that are violent cells. Hmmm... Let me name three groups, the KKK, okay, yeah, oh, of course the Terrorist, hmm.. damn, one more.. now where shall I turn... Ah, oh, yeah, the Heartless Scum! Hahaha... Wow, I'm brilliant!

So in order to sum all of this up into a few little simple math problems. Okay, here I go.

Math Problem 1 - Heartless Scum Idea
Variables - V = violence

V + (-(-V)) = V²

Now, this adds to something. violence plus violence equals violence square. WOW! I wonder why, it's twice the fucking violence. I hate Heartless Scum. Please, someone change my view. SOMEONE! ANYONE? Come on.

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Math Problem 2 - Adding Groups
Variables - P = protestors; K = ku klux klan; T = terrorist

P + K + T = H

Oh, the variable H, what does that stand for. Well, you can either use Hitler or Hussein. In other words, they're working to farther the cause left by these two men. Because either of them is usable. Hell, they're both complete retards. Took over Nations, killing thousands of their own people, tried to take over the World. And oh, both dead. Hahaha.... I like that last one the best. Oh, yeah, we could also throw Heartless Scum up there too. Hitler, Hussein, Heartless Scum. I see no problem with that. No problem with throwing those names up there. Oh, yeah, how about Osama Bin Laden. He's got an H in his name too. Oh, but it never equals Hachland. That's just wrong. Hach is a loving person, oh, well, okay, unless your a hate group. Then I just see no reason. Hell, you are asking for it.

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Math Problem 3 - Hach on April 7th, 2002
Variables - S = Syracuse; B = Birthday; M = Microwave; H = Happy

S + (B - 13) + M = H

Oh, well, now H equals HAPPY! Hahahaha... And hella yeah! Syracuse wins! My birthday is in 13 days. I got myself my parents old microwave, hella ya, a microwave in my bed room! All I need now is a sink, toilet and of course a fridge. Hahahaha!! This will leave me to be completely able to spend countless hours without moving more then 10 feet ever! Oh, well, maybe to get soap, toilet paper and beer. Beer is God's friend. I'll show you my new beer of choice soon. We call it Steel Reserve, and oddly it's also called that.

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Math Problem 4 - Possible Hach on April 8th, 2002
Variables - S = Syracuse; B = Birthday; K = Kurt Cobain; C = Curmudgeon

S + (B - 12) - K = C

The finally math problem for today, is a projected look at how I'll be feeling tomorrow. Let's go threw the variables. Syracuse, I'll still be feeling great as Syracuse has won the NCAA Championship! And my birthday will only be 12 days away. Yet, it'll be the 8th Anniversary of when they found Kurt Cobain's body and what seemed to be the whole suicide type thing, but in all actuality it was a MURDER! Thus leading me to feel curmudgeon. What is curmudgeon? Curmudgeon is a crusty, ill-tempered, and usually old man. So look at me and bow your head. And never ever forget about the man who got everything he ever wanted, he was killed by his wife. Hey, I could have been positive, but I don't need any of that.

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