Main » 2012 » April » 18 » My Favorite Things If I Were A Chick
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My Favorite Things If I Were A Chick
With the continuing theme of trying to ploy or con people from Pinterest
into visiting my website I have decided it's time for everyone to know
about a few of my favorite things. My favorite things if I were a girl.
Think of this as your one stop source to discover awesome fantastic
things that I would like if I were a chick. You might be surprised.
So obviously this will be a list of things that I think that I would
think that I like if I was a chick. It's quite clear that I am not a
chick, not a female, not a woman or whatever gender that I will pretend
I'm representing. I hope that no one from the lady gender will become
overly upset about certain things I will like. It's only a joke in the
long run.
10. Tampons
I would love tampons if I were a girl. This one has to be a quite
obvious one of course. I would buy them all the time and while I'm
buying them at the register I would pick out the biggest nerd and just
tease him. I would use probably say things along the lines of:
"Wow, my pussy is really bloody this month."
OR
"You like how I'm buying tampons? Yeah, that means I have a pussy. Would you like to see it?"
I would be completely evil about things like that. I think it would be
the funniest thing I could do if I was a girl. I guess it's a little
different than things guys could do. As a guy I don't think it's proper
to buy condoms and find the nerdiest girl and say things like:
"You see I'm buying condoms, that means I have a cock. Would you like to see?"
For some reason I think if I were to say that they'd call it sexual
harassment. And we don't have no panda around here to tell me what not
to do.
So yeah, a tampon would be one of the things I would love to own as a girl.
9. Girly Magazines
Now don't get me wrong I would love to currently read these girly
magazines that they have out there like Cosmopolitan or those fancy ones
that are like 5,000 pages of nothing but advertisements of clothes to
wear.
I think this would be a must because each month I would be able to read
either the "Sexy Issue" or the "Sex Issue" of Cosmo. I see these
magazines at the check out lines and I wonder to myself how much sex are
these girls having. These girls must have the most sex in the world.
Plus I heard there's some tests or quizzes in the back of them to test
your female loves. Like how much you like your boyfriend and what not.
8. Flowers
I think flowers would be something I would quite enjoy if I were a girl.
I mean girls don't really tell me that they like the flowers and when
they do it's usually "Yeah, I would have liked flowers for Valentine's
Day" But they never go out and bring flowers home or anything like that.
If I were a girl, I would be overly obvious about the wanting of
flowers. I would make the comment every day that I would enjoy a flower.
Or I would even leave notes that I would want flowers, like rip of
pieces of receipts in the shape of flower pedals and place them all
around.
Why would I like flowers? Why not!? They're so nice and colorful and they smell nice too. Just all the things that girls are.
7. Chick Flicks
One of the hardest things as a girl is watching chick flicks, because
most of them are so incredibly stupid not because of the terrible
acting. But rather the terrible stupid problems that they main
characters find themselves in.
Like the one movie where a girl was having all these problems because
she and her mother switched bodies. It's like seriously that's your
problem? Hell, here I am talking about the things I would enjoy if that
happened.
Seriously though, I would be able to watch movies like Mystic Pizza or
even Star Wars. I believe I would quite enjoy watching the Lifetime
Movie Network too. Getting a bunch of tissues and crying, doesn't that
just sound so much fun!
6. Bras & Panties
I would love all the beautiful colors of bras and panties. I would like
all the styles. Well, I would hope at least. As a guy I'm very worried
about this thong style panties. I don't really like things up my rump.
But maybe as a chick I would love it incredibly. As for when I'm a guy I
would love to see the creation of the thong style bra. What would that
be like?
I can somewhat imagine it like it being something that actually doesn't
cover the boobs or maybe it's just a string that wraps around the boobs.
Hmm.. but seriously as a girl wouldn't you just love all the fancy
colors and styles?
Plus with bras I would love going to a fancy bra place and have another
girl measure my chest. And after she's done saying "Yep, I got boobs"
Ha.. think of the fun!
5. Cupcakes
As a guy I like cake, as a girl I would just LOVE CUPCAKES!!
I would just love to be able to watch Cupcake Wars or one of the other
50 cupcake television shows and say "Aren't those so cute!?"
Because it's like you can't as a guy, because you have to be all manly
and say that they're too small for you or something like that. I haven't
been able to eat a cupcake since I was in third grade. That's a long
time!
But as a girl I would be able to look at them, eat them and brag about how darn cute they are!!
4. Zac Efron Or Someone Like Him
The difference between guys and girls are insane. This one isn't any
different. Girls like guys, guys like girls. Yet, guys aren't supposed
to like the cute grils, we're supposed to like the sexy girls, the big
titted girls. Yet, girls they get to like the cute guys.
If girls liked the same kind of guys that us guys had to like as in
girls, it would be like girls finding body builders. But nope, they like
the cute guys. In comparison it would be like guys having posters on
their wall of librarians.
It's just completely different. Yet, Zac Efron is pretty hunkish even in a cute way. I mean, that's if I was a girl.
3. Colorful Things
I'm guessing this is what chicks like and as a chick I suppose I would
like them too. As a guy I like the plain blunt every day colors like
blue, black, red and sometimes silver. As a girl wow, think of the
options of colors I could enjoy. Hell the different names of colors.
Not only would I like pink and purple, but I could like colors like
bright pink and brighter purple. As a guy I can only like the movie
Colors with Sean Penn and Robert Duvall.
2. Cats
Now there is nothing wrong with cats for a man. Heck I live with a cat.
But I can't overly show my love for a cat because I would be called a
sissy or worse be made fun of. I used to have a cat of my own though
then I turned 9 years old. Time to grow up.
But as a girl I would own my own cats a whole bunch of them and they
would be the cutest things ever. They wouldn't have no dictator type
mustache or they wouldn't be a fat cat like Garfield. They would be just
so CUTE!!
1. Dresses
Guys can sometimes get away with kilts. Girls they can wear all the
dresses in all the world. I think that's one of the first thing I would
do as a girl. Hell, guys have to wear pants and wear them all the time.
We sometimes can wear shorts, but that ends shortly around the age of 34
years old unless you have grand kids you can start wearing shorts again
around the age of 53. But that's only if you are in a exotic far away
location and are paying for the whole trip to say Jamaica.
But as a girl you can throw on anything and wear it around. Hell, has
anyone noticed that most of these clothes and dresses that girls wear
are just like smocks we used to wear in 4th grade art class. And if
they're not that they're like sweat pants with a smock type shirt over
it?
It's just not fair. Yet as a girl I would embrace every single moment of the fancy dresses. Because hell, I'd be a girl!
P.S. Saying the word cute
As a added bonus I think saying the word cute would just make my day as a
girl. It's just a word that should never come out of the mouth of a guy
unless in a secret location with their female love. Just never never in
public!
Now are there anything I missed that you think as a girl I should enjoy?
