Another week has passed us by and my mailbox has filled up with more and more people asking for my advice. So let's jump right into the fire and find out what advice these people need help with!
Dear Hach
I’ve got my cool Facebook account, but now an uncool friend wants to Friend me.
I have what appears to be a simple problem: A childhood friend found me on Facebook and wants to be my Friend, and I am faced with a monumental decision.
To Friend or not to Friend? That is the question.
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Dear Facebooker
The world is a vampire. This is a vampire from your past. Do you friend this vampire? Or do you move on and block this said person? It's a question that you and only you can make. But if you want me to answer it, I will.
I, myself, have had this problem numerous times. Do I friend an old childhood friend that well, wasn't all that cool or not. It's the question that has bothered me throughout the entire time I've had Facebook and even MySpace. It's like I don't want to be mean and not friend this person. Yet, I don't want this person in my life at all, because hell, I think, scratch that, I know that this person is no good. And by no good, like you said, uncool.
Uncool to what point is the real question. Was this a person you picked on throughout your childhood? For me it like I said it has come up numerous times. Like for instance I once hit a kid over the head with a steel chair and about a decade later after school had thus ended and our lives went out and about in different directions he attempted to friend me on Facebook. What was I to do?
Now, this kid was totally uncool and by uncool I mean he had severe brain damage for the remainder of the time I knew him in school. Yet, I was intrigued to see how he was living these days. So I ultimately accepted his friend request mainly due to the curiosity in weather or not his life had been changed due to a small incident in 11th Grade English class.
While the outcome of me accepting his friend request hasn't altered my coolness. And having another number on my friend list doesn't even make me any more cooler. Plus he doesn't really bother me. Yet, at times his status updates amuse me. I think I hit him a little too hard.
Yet, another incident of a uncool person attempting to friend me has the complete different reaction. I had played Little League baseball with this character and by character let me just say this character is indeed just that. He has been refereed to on not just once but numerous times as having the same look as Ronald McDonald. Yes, the McDonald's spokes clown. And even more sadly about this he has the same habits.
By habits I mean he frequently visits McDonald's and attempts to sing and dance with small children. No, no don't get alarmed. He's not one of those van driving characters. He's just well, not all there mentally.
Now since accepting his friend request he has damaged my coolness to incredible amounts. Thus sending my life into a downward spiral and forcing me to tell you all that this person has no meaning to live!
But that's just my advice. And by that I mean you need to know if the person's uncoolness is greater than his or her creepiness.
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Dear Hach
I am wanting to get my first western style hat. I have always just worn a baseball cap but I want something to cover my ears and give me some shade and coverage for rain if that happens.
The problem is that I don't want my head to cook in the sun in a wool or leather hat, and I am afraid that one of the straw types will let water through if it rains or get crushed the first time it gets stepped/sat on.
I don't know anything about the "Aussie" Oilskin stuff so I don't know if that is hotter or cooler than felt or wool.
I live in the NW so the riding conditions can range anywhere from almost freezing and pouring down rain (not that we would be out riding in that unless by accident) to 90+ direct sun.
So I am just really looking for suggestions on what kind of material I should look at.
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Dear Hat Searcher
Well, well, well let's see if I can figure this one out. You're a balding man? In desperate need of a hat? Let's see if I can help.
So you need something to cover your ears. Hopefully they'e not huge Dumbo type ears and yet you want something that's not too warm either.
Whoa! Yes, I used one of your favorite quotes here. Let me understand this. You want a hat that's not too warm and not too cold. Now are you the kind of person that's going to be riding the horse for let's say EVER!? 'Cause if so I don't think I nor mother nature can help you. Yes, I understand you wouldn't go out riding in any type of harsh weather so what you're really looking for is a decent hat that can protect you from most weather conditions.
Well, I think I have the idea.
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Dear Hach
I am often getting confused with the correct use of these two words: advice and advise. Can you give me a simple and powerful example to understand this.
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Dear Confused
The difference is easy and yet competely difficult. While there's only a simple difference in the letters from "C" to "S" its a difference from suggestion to telling you.
Such as the word advice is something you give someone like I'm going to give you some sort of adivce. Whoa, that didn't work. You can't define something with the word. Let's try that again.
When I give you advice I'm suggesting that you do it a certain way.
On the other hand when I give you advise I'm actually stopping and showing you how it's done.
These two things are greatly confused throughout the modern world. As in everyone confuses not only the spelling of the two, but mainly the meaning.
While Frank can say he gave me advice, Sally may think he gave me advise. And that my friend is the biggest difference of all.
Because it's one thing to tell someone how to do it. But it's a whole different thing to show someone how to do it.
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Dear Hach
I'm an average guy and I'm thinking about getting a lip piercing but don't know if its right for me? can i get some chicks to email me and then i can show them a pic or something and you can judge?
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Dear Fish Hook
I'm sorry to hear of your obvious stupidity. I don't know if it's become crystal clear to you that I believe this is a dumb option. Not that e-mailing girls pictures of yourself. Well, actually that's a bad idea all in itself.
Imagine if you will that some girl gets a picture of your face and bam! You suddenly become a internet superstar and only 1% of us internet superstars become the ones not made fun of. So there's your picture it becomes a internet meme and everyone makes fun of you and you have no one else to blame but yourself.
Then again you go out and get the lip piercing and became worldly famous for... Wait for it.. You're walking off the bus, because obviously you are too stupid to drive yourself or even have a friend that could honestly tell you not to get it. Well, you're getting off the bus. And all of a sudden it catches on the doors of the bus. The bus driver doesn't see you and BLAM! Your dead.
So I've just given you two main reasons not to get this done. Yet maybe you really really really want it. Okay, let me be brutal here for a second. Are you gay?
Seeing as you can't respond because well, you have a fish hook all up in your lip. I think you are. Because not only do guys think your gay, most women think so too!
So get it if you don't enjoy your life now.
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Dear Hach
Okay, so I'm fifteen this year, and I have always dreamt of going to live and work in South Korea when I grow up, in maybe 3-5 years.
But I'm really paranoid and scared because of conspiracy theories and stuff talking about WW3 and people saying how the North is gonna nuke South Korea. I'm really scared and troubled.
Can somebody help calm me down?
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Dear Radar O'Reily
So you've dreamt of this place called South Korea and believe once you are 18 or 21 years of age that you wouldn't mind visiting and possibily even living in the place in which the show M*A*S*H was based upon?
Go ahead. It's safe. It's as safe as a rice patty with a land mine in it. It's as safe as a bomb going off in your head. It's as safe as being forced to watch the entire M*A*S*H series and not being able to A) blink or B) piss. You can poo all you want it's not my problem if you end up poo'in bricks!
I don't know how I can help you here. Your're asking for someone to calm you down. On what factor? You go on to talk about how yes, it's not a safe place to live and that you would be better off by not going. And that you are very paranoid.
Paranoid about going or not going? If you are more paranoid of not going than just simply don't go!
I don't think you or your parents would be all that happy with you dying. But then again, how would you know?
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Dear Hach
I've done the facebook quizzes and it says im mexican and my favorite food is apparently taco so im mexican obviously but yeh i needa know how to become mexican wrestler?
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Dear Juventud Guerrera
I believe this is an awesome idea. I mean that's how everyone should discover what they want to be and well, should be. By taking a Facebook quiz.
I mean honestly I don't see how this could be a wrong idea. You like tacos and it says you are a Mexican. So I say go ahead and head down to Mexico and ask for Que chirlo.
Thank you for reading until next time this has been Hachey Cares!!
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