Holy Crap! By the look of my watch it's that time again! Crap how are we going to handle it? I was so not ready for this one!
By this one I simply mean it's time for the big show, it's time to hear Peter Gabriel's Big Time!
Yes, you know what I mean.
It's WrestleMania Twenty-Eight!! Or for you non-wrestling fans the time you get off your rocker and say "Hey, that famous person is appearing in some event."
In past years the likes of Mr. T, Mike Tyson, Lawrence Taylor, Billy Martin, Pete Rose, Muhammad Ali and even Liberace.
If you don't know those people then I'm sorry. Most of them need no explanation. Because well, a couple of them are sports legends, some are entertainment icons and another is well, Liberace.
This years celebrity will be none other than not yours truly. Because I once again have not answered Vincent Kennedy McMahon's calls. I still refuse after a certain event that occurred once upon a time.
While this years WrestleMania most likely won't see the likes of Billy Martin or Liberace. We do get to see current Extra co-host Maria Menounos. She's a female, it's a entertainment news show. She'll be innovated in some female match that... well, no body cares about.
But there are some huge matches that people are sitting on the edge of their seats for. Matches like John Cena taking on The Rock or The Undertaker and Triple H battling it out in a Hell In A Cell Match.
There are numerous headlining type matches and well, there is also something fairly huge going on that you the fan that isn't doesn't quite understand. Which is this event is taking place in Miami and being held at the biggest dump ever!
By biggest dump ever I mean Sun Life Stadium or do I mean Land Shark Stadium or Dolphin Stadium. Wait, maybe I mean Dolphins Stadium. Wait didn't I say that one already?
Maybe it's Pro Player Stadium. Or even Pro Player park. No, no... It's got to be Joe Robbie Stadium.
Well, whatever the name of it.. it's a dump. Seriously it's a dump. Even the Florida Marlins left the place. And they suck.
Or at least they did.
Up until they left the stadium they sucked and well, they were known as the Florida Marlins. Now we can call them the Miami Marlins. I just can't wait for M&M's to sponsor them. Seems like its quite fitting. I just hope it melts in your mouth and not in your hand.
Wow, that's just disturbing.
So another thing that's disturbing is the pre events that is occuring. Such as the Hall Of Fame. You see every year they introduce a few of the greatest wrestlers of all-time and inducte them into a place in which... wait I don't
even know where this WWE Hall Of Fame is... I know there's like a baseball one in Cooperstown.. I know there's one for football in Ohio.. Wait, I think there's a couple of sports hall of fames in New York. Hmmm...
Now with all these questions I'm puzzling over about this years WrestleMania. My big question is other than these Hall Of Famers... wait, who's getting introduced...
Oh... Ric Flair and the rest of the Four Hoursemen.. Wait, which of the four? There were a bunch of them. Like Arn Anderson, Tully Blanchard, Ric Flair, Barry Windham, Lex Luger, Dean Malenko, Steve McMichael and oh who
can forget Chris Benoit....
Are they really going to go as far as too add Chris Benoit to the hall of fame?
I somewhat doubt Benoit will be mentioned ever again in the WWE Universe. To me I think they deleted every evidence of him. After all, we don't want to be hearing about WWE and Chris Benoit on a 24/7 loop on the likes of news outlets everywhere, especially say HLN.
I can just see it now. Nancy Grace getting all up in arms about this. You'd think she shoved a... whoa, I think I was going to take this thing to a dark, dark place.
So anyways, to cut through the meat of it all. WWE is inducting a few of the great hall of famers of years past for example like a previously mentioned the Four Horsemen.
The carnation lead by J.J. Dillion, remember him? And the first four men I mentioned.
Other former WWE stars to be introduce include the likes of Edge for those of you who don't remember him. You wrestling fans might be way way too young to remember him. He was a wrestler, not sure if you knew that one.
But seriously though, he had long hair for a while then cut it to remind me of that soccer mom in those commercials about being a good mother. He wrestled for a while back and was a WWE Champion and most noticeably was a member of the greatest stable ever.... THE BROAD!!
Errr... I mean the Brood.
They're also inducting Mil Mascaras... you all should remember him. So I won't mention much about this guy. How he and Shawn Michaels had a long heated feud. And there was the whole documentary called Wrestling With Shadows.
We're also seeing the introduction of Rom Simmons or for those who remember him better as Faarooq. DAMN!!
There is still a few more people they're about to introduce. Which makes one think that the WWE Hall Of Fame is much more lenient than say the NFL's Hall Of Fame or the MLBs. I mean do you know that the WWE is going to introduce Mike Tyson.
YES!! Mike Tyson!! All he did was serve as a special guest enforcer. That's just stretching this whole thing WAY too much.
And by WAY too much. I actually mean...
WAY TOO MUCH!
It's like putting Spike Lee into the NBA Hall of Fame because he attends most of the New York Knicks games.
IT"S JUST WRONG!!
Speaking of WONG.. I mean....
The final inductee... Or at least I hope because I think I'm running out of paper..................
But let's not push this one around too much. Because the last inductee is the smallest of smalls.
It's none other than the six foot four.... six hundred and eighty pounds...
Where is that white flag with the picture of Mars?
Yep, that's right!
It's Yokuzuna!!!
That big guy who once eat the original Undertaker.
He has since passed on. Much like other people who have died.
He will be introduced by some Uso. I think that is a version of a bird. I'm thinking it's the cousin of the Emu.
So there you have it...
Hach's Pre-Preview to WrestleMania Twenty-Ocho!
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